She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
