I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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