whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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