State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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