Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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