Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
