Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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