For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
