im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
