I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
