apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
