Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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