I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i think i just lost a toe
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
