Swine flu. Run for my life!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
