Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
