she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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