seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
