I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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