Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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