Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
