A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
