bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
