Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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