went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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