3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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