woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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