Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
