her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
