Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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