Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
