Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
