highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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