please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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