No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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