She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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