at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
