We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
