Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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