It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
