Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
one might say we're banned from that church
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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