so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
