This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
