so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
