Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
