you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Girls should come with a carfax report
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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