I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
