So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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