'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
