Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
