I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I came so hard my ears popped.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
