i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
