WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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