Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
