Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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