i permit you to call me
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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