so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Randomize