I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize