Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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