Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
