Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
